We're like a lot better than the average bears
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
