you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I would ride that face into the sunset
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize