sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
