that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize
