Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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