We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
