If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
