There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
