that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
