I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
