Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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