I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
