Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
