Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
