Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
