i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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