I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
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i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
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He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
this hospital has no fireball
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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