The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Randomize