Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
