i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
