I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
