i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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