Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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