I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
