Well douche your snatch and let's go!
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
