I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
