Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
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Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
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Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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