it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
