I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
