so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
