I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
