So drunk, too bad you don't want this
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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