At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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