i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
