New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
