I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
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