You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
