This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
