Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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