I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You may now shotgun with the bride
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We're too hungover to prance.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize
