I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
