If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
