The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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