I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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