We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
