He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
