I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
