I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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