She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
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His hands were made for my vagina.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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