I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
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I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
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I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
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