chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
