I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
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They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
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I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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