M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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