I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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