I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
