i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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