Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
