Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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