How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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