the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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