im having a threesome with these popsicles
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
